Taking a break

The purpose of this blog was purely catharsis, not titillation - for me to make sense of the changes in my life and the things that I was doing.

At the moment, however, I am feeling much less confused about what I'm doing - I am having a great time with David and I am feeling secure that although I may be expressing myself through some rather kinky sex, there is enough tenderness to counter it and feel good about it.

I guess what I am saying is that the blog has served its purpose, and I am glad that I used it as a means to understand and work through things. For anyone who has enjoyed it, I am glad. If you will miss it, I am sorry, but the purpose was never purely entertainment.

However, if enough people leave me a comment asking nicely, I may do the occasional follow up post on how David and I develop.

Blurring the fantasy line, part 2

We arrived together into the house, locked the door, fidgeted about for a little while, then started kissing on the sofa. After a few moments it was clear that we needed to go to the bedroom, and down we went.

I lay down on the bed and David lay on top of me, kissing me deeply and undressing me. Then he took my hands, and placing them above my head, handcuffed them together. He then kissed his way down my body, teasing my nipples with his tongue and teeth, licking and kissing as he went. When he got down to my pussy, he teased me with his tongue, making me writhe with pleasure, gasping and moaning as he sucked on my clit, and then slipped his fingers then his tongue inside me. He murmured about how good I tasted as he licked me deeply bringing me to the brink of orgasm and then pulling back.

He moved his way up my body until he was sitting on my chest and then brought himself right up to my lips. I opened my mouth widely and he slipped himself deep into my mouth, initially just enough for me to lick and suck him a little, running my tongue over his tip and swirling it around him. He moaned with pleasure as I did this, and then began to thrust into my mouth, with the angle perfectly allowing him to take advantage of my lack of gag reflex, as he thrust himself deep into my throat, feeling me take every inch of him.

Then he moved himself down again, feeling with his hand to see if I was wet enough, and I was sopping. He slipped one, then two fingers deep inside me, marvelling at how ready I was before asking me did I want it. I said that I did, and he asked me what was I supposed to say? I said once, twice, several times, louder and louder, "David, fuck me now!" until neither of us could take any more and he thrust himself inside me.

He held me down with his hands on my arms and took me, possessively, strongly, thrusting deep and hard, making me gasp each time. As he pushed deep into me, he whispered into my ear that I was his, that I belonged only to him, only he could touch me and taste me and make me cum. And cum I did, as I felt the waves of pleasure flood through my body, he uncuffed my hands and I threw my arms around him, kissing him passionately as he continued to drive deep into me faster and harder, making me cum even more. Finally, with a deep and passionate thrust, he came deep inside me, and held me until we both stopped panting and gasping for breath.

Later on, we decided to try it the other way. David made himself comfortable on the bed, and I came in a moment later, wearing a dressing gown. First I cuffed his hands together, realising that I could do whatever I wanted to him as he lay there. Kissing his neck and stroking his chest, I removed the dressing gown to reveal a corset top and frilly skirt underneath. HIs eves widened as he took in my sexy outfit and he moved his hands to try and touch me, but couldn't.

I kissed and bit him all over, leaving little teeth marks in his sides before coming to his hard cock. I teased it with my hand, stroking it all over, running my fingers over him, playing with the sensitive spot just behind his balls that makes him gasp every time. I bent down and took him in my mouth, licking him up and down, teasing him slowly. I kissed the tip of his dick, licking it, flicking my tongue over the tip and swirling it around him, then taking him all into my mouth and sliding my mouth up and down on him. I played with his balls as I did this, hearing him moan and gasp until I wanted more. I moved up his body and teased his hard dick with my pussy, letting him feel that I was wet and ready. Then I slid myself onto him, revelling in the feeling of his hardness inside of me and gently moving myself up and down on him. I leaned down and kissed him hard, resting my forehead on his as I fucked him for all I was worth. Then I let his hands free and as he pulled me down he began to thrust beneath me, harder and faster until we both came in an orgasmic heap.

Cuddles after such hot sex are very very important, and we cuddled a lot that night.

Anticipation........... blurring the fantasy line

David and I had plans to meet on Friday afternoon to then spend the evening together. We had been texting throughout the day, and he was teasing me shockingly to build anticipation. I had joked that I would keep my hands to myself in future, and that was the jumping point for some very sexy texting.

David - So no matter what I do you will keep your hands to yourself?

Me - Yes. Until I change my mind.

David - So I can do anything I can think of but your hands won't touch me until you change your mind.

Me - Yep.

David - Oh maybe I should get some handcuffs and see if I can make you take those words back with a lot of teasing.

Me - Oooooh. I rather like the sound of that.

David - Just what to handcuff you to so you can't use your hands?

Me - Not sure. Maybe just above my head.

David - And then I could throw you onto the bed.

Me - You could indeed. Damn you, it is half nine and I am getting turned on.

David - Holding your handcuffed hands above your head, I could kiss and stroke my way all over your body. Is that a bad thing, getting turned on?

Me - No, but it is frustrating.

David - Well, you have to finish work, meet me for lunch, do your errands in town, then go home before you can get a release.

Me - I know.

David - Where was I? Oh yes! While I'm kissing my way up and down your body my hand will grab your leg slowly working its way up the outside of the leg. And everytime you move or make a noise I bite, lick and suck your skin where my mouth is at the time.

Me - You'd better not leave any marks. I'm warning you.

David - Oh, there could be marks. Depending on how much you try and move about.

Me - No, no, no. There cannot be marks. That is not negotiable.

David - As my hand starts to run up your leg I start to move my mouth south, leaving no inch of skin untouched. My hand and mouth, both reaching your pussy at the same time.

Me - Mmmmmmmmm. Sounds very very good.

David - There, with you dripping with wetness, I slowly rub up and down on your pussy, being gentle so you can hardly feel it but you know I'm touching you.

Me - You're enjoying this, aren't you?

David - Yes. You start to quiver with anticipation of what will happen next. With each rub of your pussy that I do, I go in and give it a little kiss and your clit a little flick of my tongue.

David - Once you are wet enough and looking good enough to eat, that's exactly what I will do. I will start with long slow licks so I can taste you. Then when you are ready, I will speed up, sucking on your clit, taking it in my mouth and tickling it with my tongue. Then when you are shaking with pleasure, moaning for me to to end this bedevilment, I will slip one finger into your soaking pussy.

Me - You are bad.

David - With me licking your clit and fingering you, I'm going to wait until you are on the verge of cumming then I'm going to stop. And go back to kissing your body, still ignoring your lips (just to let you calm down a bit). While I'm doing this I take my hard cock in my hand which is wet at the tip due to what I've done to you. I then thrust into your pussy but it doesn't go in, oh not yet...... Instead it rubs right along your pussy stopping at your clit.

Me - Do you even know what you're doing to me?

David - Hopefully I'm getting you so turned on that you are starting to feel damp between your legs.

Me - A little bit, yes.

David - I come up and nibble on your ear and whisper in your ear, "Do you want me to fuck you?" Not make love, that is for later. But do you want me to fuck you, pure, filthy, dirty sex. At this point the tip of my dick is rubbing your pussy and is just touching your hole eager to be allowed in.

Me - And if I say yes?

David - Oh, it is not yes I want you to say. I want to hear the words "David, fuck me" and I will keep rubbing your pussy and just touching your soaking hole until you do. And when I say "say", I mean almost shout.

Me - I'll see what I can do

David - Oh, you will say those words. Even if it takes hours of pleasure and torture. And once you do I will keep you cuffed, I will slowly inch inside you almost cumming myself with your gasps, and when I'm all inside you I will finally kiss your lips............................. after that, you will have to wait and see.




So what happened when we got home? You will have to wait and see.

The infamous threesome

Well, I had been in talks with an acquaintance over email about the idea of a mff threesome. I guess it was partly due to Malcolm telling me about his many fantasies of group sex, I was curious. I also had this feeling that I didn't want to do something like that with people that I knew well in case it was awful and embarrassing.

De (the girl) and Da (the guy) both are really nice, and they weren't in a relationship as such, just fuck buddies. That helped because it meant that there were no jealousy issues.

So after much hmming and hahing and talking and thinking and worrying and freaking, we finally fixed a date for the event. The plan was simple, I would go to Da's house and together we would head up to De - she would meet us at her house.

I arrived at Da's house as arranged and he made me a cup of tea. As I am wont to do, I had dressed carefully, in the outfit I am wearing in my profile picture. The schoolgirl skirt, little cardi and fishnet stockings. I was wearing high heels and some makeup. As requested, I had also brought my Rampant Rabbit deluxe, just in case. Da was fascinated by the stockings, he thought they were very sexy, and asked if he could touch them. He commented that he had never seen anything like them before. I got the feeling he'd never seen anything quite like me in general.

We arrived at De's house and she wasn't there yet, she was out. Da put the tv on, and got me a drink of water, then sat on the sofa beside me. After some small talk, he leaned in to kiss me. Then he started to kiss his way down my neck, feeling my breasts and moving his hand downwards to stroke then part my legs. He knelt before me, and moved my red silk knickers aside to lick and taste me, listening to my gasps of pleasure as he increased his attentions until I came, him licking and tasting every drop. He continued to stroke my legs and feel the stockings until De called to say that she was on her way.

When she arrived, she and Da got a drink and we talked a little, all sitting on the sofa. She is pretty, with red hair, and better boobs than me. He is nice enough looking, with a cheeky smile. She had just gotten her Ann Summers order that day, which included a vibrating cock ring, lube, and a rampant rabbit of her own. There was some giggling and kerfuffle over batteries, but we got it going in the end. So, as we sat there, laughing at this sex toy, he asked if it was any good, and touched it against her pussy. I watched, slightly fascinated, as he rubbed it against her, and listened to her moans of pleasure as it slipped inside a little. Then, as he continued to tease her, he pulled me in for a kiss, and as he kissed me, i could see her watching us kissing.

After a few minutes of this, we decided we'd be more comfortable upstairs and headed up to her bedroom. We stepped in, and he pushed her against the wall for a kiss, his hands roving over her body. Then as she put some music on, he kissed me and stripped off my top and skirt, but left the stockings and bra on.

We all moved over to the bed and there was some kissing again. He took De's rabbit and slid it into her, as she moaned with delight, then took mine and did the same to me. He then used both the rabbits to fuck us simultaneously until we both came, gasping. After a moment taken to recover, De produced a rather bendy double ended dildo, which she asked if we could try. She lay back as it slid into her, then I knelt over her for the other half. Da moved between us and thrust it back and forth. I think I would have liked it a whole lot better if I hadn't been slightly irritated by the material that the dildo was made of - ouch! I waited until I was fairly sure that she had come before asking to stop - and a little splash of water in the bathroom helped a lot. Then we settled back in for some more action.

Some more kissing, my clothes came off entirely, and Da pulled me into position of sitting on his face as he started to lick me again. De and I took turns sucking his cock, her getting really turned on watching me take him into my mouth, encouraging me. She went up to where his head was, I think she may have had a little taste herself, but I'm not entirely sure. After some time of this, she slid herself down onto him and fucked him as he continued to lick and suck me, and she and I kissed and touched a little until everybody was pretty much done.

Then we all kind of collapsed in a heap and chatted for a bit, then a cup of tea and a biscuit before putting clothes on and heading home. I think I got in at about 4am, exhausted but thrilled.

Sick day . . . .

Today I called in sick to work. I was up all night with a bad tummy and I woke up with a killer headache, feeling horrendous. Mid morning, after lots of sleep, I sent David a text to tell him I was in bed, and was surprised to discover that he, too, had been up late with a bad tummy and was also sick! Now, if we had just planned to take a sicky together, I'd admit to it, but that was not the case.

So I suggested, as I had the house to myself until 8pm (it was 12ish) he could come to mine and we could recouperate together. He was there in half an hour, bless him.



I stayed in my pjs and a little vest top, and greeted him at the door when he arrived. We stood in the hall, kissing, and he held me close. Immediately I started to feel a little better, he said my skin was cold, but I felt warm all the way through from his kisses. I took him by the hand and led him to the bedroom, announcing that I was going back to bed. I lay down on the part of the bed where I'd been sleeping all day and he lay down beside me. He kissed me deeply and tenderly, my arms around his neck, his hands moving over my body, feeling my hips, stomach and thighs. He brushed my hair away from my face, kissing me still, then moved his hands inside my pyjama bottoms to play with me, stroking my softly between my thighs, feeling my wetness, which was steadily increasing.

He stripped off my pyjama bottoms, kissing down over my neck and shoulders, running his hands over my breasts and body. He took my hand and brought it over to the bulge in his trousers, moaning softly as I grasped and stroked it, then moved my hand inside the trousers, marvelling at the heat of his hard cock, feeling how smooth and warm it was, already damp at the tip with anticipation. After a few more kisses, he quickly stripped off his clothes and moved himself over me, spreading my legs in a commanding gesture. He kissed me some more and using the head of his dick teased me, slipping nearly inside me but not quite, rubbing against my clit to make me squirm. As I was soaking wet, he asked me, whispering in my ear, if I wanted it, if I was ready. I told him that I wanted him, that I needed to feel him inside me, deep inside my pussy. He loves hearing me say dirty words, he is spurred on by it.

At my request he thrust deep inside me, making me gasp and moan, and began moving back and forth. I hooked my legs around his waist, pulling him in closer, my arms under his and my hands stroking over his back. He asked me if I wanted it soft and gentle and I said I did..... for then. He kept the pace soft and gentle until I came, shuddering with the waves of pleasure running through my whole body. When I had come, he quickened his pace, taking me harder, pushing up on his arms and looking down at me as he thrust into me. After about ten minutes I came again, feeling a sexual euphoria that made me moan and tell him that I loved it, I needed it .....

He was close to coming himself, and asked me where he should come, I said on me, I wanted to feel him come all over me, over my stomach. When he was ready, he pulled out and came so hard that I was covered, it was in my hair, on my face, on my body .....

He bent down again and tenderly, sweetly, kissed my face, stroking my hair and making me feel comforted and cared for.

We lay together and talked for a while, before I went to the bathroom and cleaned up a little. When I came back to bed I got in beside him and cuddled up, feeling protected in his strong arms. After some indeterminate talking and cuddling time, we were kissing again, and his hands started to wander..... The kissing intensified, and he moved his hands down to feel my wetness, pleased with how wet I was. He pulled me on top of him, and I kissed him some more, before reaching down to grasp him and tease him, rubbing myself over him, until neither of us could take any more. I tied back my hair then slipped a vibrating cock ring over his hardness before slipping him inside me. He felt so good, filling me completely, as he pulled me down and I wrapped my arms around him. He moved beneath me, making me come quickly and hard. I sat up, and leaned back, moving my hips over him in a figure of eight motion, feeling the vibration from the cock ring teasing me and increasing my pleasure. We continued to kiss and I moved myself over him, fucking him slowly, teasing him, before he pulled me down again so that he could take control to pleasure me as hard as he liked. He asked me to say his name as I came, to tell him that I loved it, that I wanted it, needed it. When I'd come again, he came as well, and we collapsed together in a gasping heap.

A bit more cuddling and downtime, and he snuggled up behind me to spoon me. After a while, he got hard again, kissing me on the neck, and making it clear that he wanted me again. I rolled over onto my front and he spread my legs, then entered me from behind, taking me slowly and masterfully as I gently rubbed my clit, getting closer and closer to an orgasm. After a good, long, strong session like this, he slipped out of me and then moved himself up, into my ass. He held on to my hips and fucked me gently in the ass until, to my amazement, I came again - with no clitoral stimulation! I couldn't believe it, but I wasn't complaining... it felt so good. After a while (as he knows that anal is only ok in smallish doses or it gets sore), he pulled out and then pushed one, and then two fingers inside me, making me squeal and squirm with pleasure as he stroked his cock, before thrusting into me one more time to come in my ass. Then we rested again.

We had one more session, with me on my back until I came, then he moved up to sit on my chest as he moved between my breasts, then fucked my mouth in a deepthroat. Then back into my pussy for some more until he pulled me over to fuck him on top, before moving me down to come all over my face. It was furious and horny altogether.

I had a shower, then we made love again before it was time for him to go...... kissing me goodbye and hugging me close before he went. That was a few hours ago and I am still basking in the afterglow of wonderful sex with a lovely man who makes me feel special and wanted. He told me I was beautiful.....

There is something about the way we can have this utterly filthy sex, but he will kiss me gently and tenderly afterwards in such a loving fashion that it makes it ok. I don't feel dirty or used, I feel good about what we do, and that is important. It is mutual and horny and lustful, but not forced or exploitative.

Every time we meet and spend time together, every giggle, cuddle, kiss, caress, soft whisper, they all bring us closer and closer together. Right now, right this very minute, I'm happy.

Hotel dates and falling down the rabbit hole.....

After some arranging, my lover and I met one Saturday morning, then checked into a hotel in town. This was a different hotel to last time, and I must say, it was very nice. We booked dinner in the restaurant and headed up to check out the room.

David and I (for David is his name) had discussed the relative lack of foreplay in our previous encounters. I have admitted that in his presence I feel utterly powerless to resist any advances and seem to have some physical compulsion to submit to whatever he does, not to mention a craving to feel him moving inside me. However, he had a point about the foreplay, so I went to a high street emporium of naughty and adult themed goods, and purchased a few choice items, such as foreplay suggestions and sex dice. The dice got forgotten about, but we did try the suggestion box. Some were more successful than others, for instance, sex on the stairs wasn't appropriate for a hotel stay. Neither was the idea of naked hide-and-seek. But the suggestion that I gently massage his face and temples was very nice, especially since I straddled him to do it and we got a little carried away..... I also liked the one where he blindfolded me and touched me gently, holding my arms above my head. There needs to be a lot of trust for me to give away my power like that to another person, but it definitely focused my attention on the sensations and increased the eroticism of the moment.

I had some other surprises in store for this stay together, in the form of clothing. I dressed for him in the outfit that I wear in my profile picture here, right down to the fishnet stockings. The little skirt and stockings, with high heeled leather shoes was a definite hit, as he ran his hands over my skin, feeling first the stockings, then the bare skin above, cupping my ass and stroking me. Gradually, everything except the stockings was removed and I was teased, kissed, licked, sucked and fucked to several gasping, shuddering, shaking orgasms.

We dressed and had dinner in the restaurant, which was lovely. There was an amusing moment when the waiter came to take our plates and said, "Well done!" for having eaten it all... He was a very condescending and slightly camp waiter, was very funny.

I can't tell you how many times we connected, or in what order, how many times he came, or I came, or even all the places that he came. It was a night of passion, of that there is no doubt. I did get a little bit more sleep than in previous meetings, but not by an awful lot. As always, I was exhausted going home. Exhausted, but extremely satisfied.

However, it wasn't all fun and games. There was some time throughout the evening where I was tired and withdrawn, in my head a little. I can be depressive by nature, and this manifested itself that night. It wasn't helped by the very suprising text conversation I'd had with Malcolm the previous night where he asked me to consider an actual relationship with him when he gets back from his work trip in six weeks. It was confusing to say the least. I really don't know how to feel about it, and that conflict of emotion makes for concentration on fun sex difficult, and even more so when David mentioned some feelings of his own. I'm not sure how we came up with the analogy of love being like the rabbit hole from Alice in Wonderland. David said that he has tripped and is falling... I don't know what to make of it or how I have gone from feeling unloved and lonely to having two men profess their love for me within the space of a week. This has left me feeling naturally unsettled unsure about it all.

Hallowe'en Night Fun

The night after our cinema date, I had plans to go to a friend's house and watch a dvd. I was, however, very tired. I didn't even get dressed all day! When it came time to get ready to go out, I just didn't want to, and so I elected to stay at home with the dog. I mentioned this in a text to my young lover, who very courteously offered to come down and stay with me in the event of a zombie attack. I agreed, and shortly after my husband left, the lover arrived.

I was still in a state of undress, damp hair from my shower, wearing just some knickers and a check fleecy nightshirt that falls just below my bum. I greeted him at the door with kisses, we stood in the hall and kissed for a few minutes before practically running to the bedroom. I jumped on the bed and he came and lay on top of me, kissing me deeply, his hand investigating under my shirt and over my legs. Before too long, my knickers were being slid off, and his fingers stroked and teased me while he kissed me and loved my reaction.

His clothes, then mine came off, and he wrapped his arms around me, kissing my neck and shoulders. He kissed all the way down my body and used his tongue to tease me some more before sliding himself inside me and making me come again and again and again.

We rested a little, before going again, and again (spot the pattern here?) and then had the idea to play with my little silver clit vibrator - I pressed it against my clit while he took me in the ass. To my amazement, this yielded incredible results - I have truly found a way to make anal work for me. He asked me to tell him when I was going to come, and I did, and just as the orgasm hit, he wrapped his fingers around my throat and squeezed just enough to make me light-headed. Although it undeniably heightened the sensation of the orgasm - I can see why people do it, I wasn't expecting it and it frightened me a little. We discussed it afterwards, he said the conversation we'd had the night before had prompted it, and I could see where he was coming from, but we agreed not to try it again. Especially as I had, essentially, a handprint on my neck the next day. Awkward.

There was some more playing, touching, cuddling, and so on, then I wanted a cup of tea and we watched tv for about half an hour before his hands started wandering a little too much and we retired back to bed for some more again. Again, I can't break it down into one sexual experience - it all seems to blend together in my mind. And believe me, I am NOT complaining about that. There is something about sex with him that leaves me exhausted but satisfied - once I'm alone again, I feel like I have reached my sexual limit .... pretty much until I am alone with him again. Maybe it is chemical, pheramones, something in his kiss - I just don't know, but once we are alone together it is like all bets are off, all boundaries are removed, anything goes.

This is an interesting phenomenon for me - an environment in which I can be utterly sexually free without fear of judgement, rejection or recrimination, where I am actively encouraged to test my limits and push my boundaries, to use language I normally shy away from, to experience different types of pleasure. This is a very positive thing.

Plus he's sweet. And cute. Which he feels detracts from his manly tattooed image to be described as sweet and cute, but someone who enjoys cuddling so much will just have to accept the cuteness. And the sweetness. And I must admit there is a very lovely comforting sensation of being wrapped in his arms for a cuddle, being held and cared for. I think there is a bond forming here, and we'll just have to see where it goes or what it means. It is too soon to tell. But it is a very interesting sign that he is keen to engage me in non-sexual activities as well, it means that he actually enjoys my company as well as enjoying me sexually. And vice versa. Interesting.